I’ll be honest: I had no idea who Sofia Franklyn was until her recent media tour.

If you don’t either, here’s the short version. She was the original co-host of Call Her Daddy, the podcast she and Alex Cooper built into a phenomenon at Barstool Sports. In 2020, a contract dispute split the show apart. Cooper stayed and went on to sign some of the biggest deals in podcasting. Franklyn left. Six years later, she’s telling her side in a memoir, Daddy Issues.

The business case is what pulled me in: who owns a brand that two people built, and what happens to the one who walks away from it.

But what kept me listening was something else. The number one comment about her interviews is that she’s hard to listen to. The vocal fry. The eyes drifting around the room. The long search for each word. It was hard for me too, until I understood where it comes from.

Sofia Franklyn on the cover of her recent book.

Here’s the piece most of us miss about transformation: we don’t lead with our brains. The brain’s job is to protect us, and it protects whoever we already are.

Change starts with behavior. You act first. Over time, the behavior takes root in your identity. Once your brain recognizes that new identity, it starts protecting that one instead.

For years, Sofia’s public identity was tied to a show she no longer has. She has said how long it took her to be ready to tell this story, and that she may not feel fully ready even now. So when I see her look up and to the side, reaching for her words, I see someone in the middle of a retrain, stepping into the behavior before the identity has caught up.

People keep saying “give her grace.” I’d add: take the lesson. This is what change looks like, live and in motion.

Want a different identity? Lead with action. Journal. Speak. Build the new habit. Your brain will follow.

Christine,

Your Blogger and Author/Founder of Madison Cool–

where it’s cool to be you.